My Immortal (Toaster)

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

To act the way her sister had, especially after what had happened to her, deserved no reward. Cassie left the Canyons. She left as soon as she saw her sister, wide eyed and obviously changed. She had told Cassie what happened; she had explained her position on the matter. She told Cassie she was staying.

Although with each step away from her twin she felt sicker, and heavier, she continued on until she sensed she was away from the claimed lands. She needed something; what the something was she was unsure, but she needed it. Everything was free in the "free lands"; the best bet was it would be here.

Her tail swished through the drying grasses as she came to a stop in what seemed to be the center of the grassy field. Quietly she dipped her head, allowing everything but her ears to relax. Her senses were rather acute, and she found that if she didn't rest now she'd be in trouble come a confrontation. A deep sigh escaped her lungs as she thought about her sister's growing stomach, and the poor soul inside it.

[Toaster]

Alone. That’s all he’d felt lately. Completely alone. Sometimes it felt as if every last living soul had left this world, leaving him and only him on this earth. Ever since the departure of his latest friend - though he couldn’t consider them that any longer - Ludus had lead a relatively solitary existence. All he could find were others that were already in their closely knit groups. Others that never bothered to give him a second glance. Why? Because they didn’t need him. They already had what they needed. It made him feel completely useless. And now, staring out at a small family in the distance, he couldn’t help but feel more alone than ever. He had come close to something like a family a few times himself, but everyone always left. Always.

With a faint sigh, the stallion peered over his right shoulder, expecting to find nothing that would interest him. But what he saw was far more interesting than he could of hoped for; a lone horse. The sight of the other, appearing as alone and lost as he was, filled him with the slightest ounce of hope. Ears pricked, and he momentarily wondered if the other would be bothered or not by his company. Perhaps they were by themselves for a reason. Perhaps they were one of those types to enjoy a solitary existence, which was something Ludus didn’t fully understand, given his constant need for company. However, he decided it was worth a shot to approach.

With the fairly heavy wind tossing the long tendrils of his mane about, he slowly descended the hill from which he’d been perched. He nickered at the horse, which appeared to be a mare. This small fact made him a little happier. The brute was not always one to get along with other stallions. Mares were always more tolerable than other males. Most of them seemed to try and avoid confrontations almost as much as he did. He hoped that this particular one wouldn’t see his advance as a threat. All he sought right now was another’s presence. There seemed to be a certain vibe emanating from the mare, however, that got him a little more interested than he already had been. He could sense a little distress, and couldn’t help but feel a little worried about her well being.

He stopped far enough away that he wouldn’t seem like a danger to her, yet close enough so he could hear her if she decided to say anything. Something told him that maybe silence was the best cure for this situation, for the time being at least. Instead of throwing a conversation at the mare, he simply dropped his muzzle to the grasses, taking a few bites and praying that his presence would offer some sort of comfort. It was always his natural instinct to help.

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: n/a
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

His approach was rather muted, and Cassie didn't notice the dark stallion coming towards her until he called out quietly. Something within her almost wanted to call back, as she would have if her sister was the one calling, but still she was held back by the familiar feeling the began to creep down her spine.

She wanted to run, like all the other times she'd met with the large brutes, but still she stayed glued to the spot. A typical statue, coiled back like a snake ready to strike. The melancholy feeling that was hanging in the air had turned into near terror as he got closer and closer. She could envision him playing with her, raping her. She would be in the same boat as Cleo. She would be broken, like Novak wanted. The rising feeling in her chest threatened to suffocate the white faced mare, as she waited for her fall.

And then he stopped.

He stood still a few yards away from her, looking and then lowering his white striped face into the thicket of grass. The calm swishing of his tail against the grass took the place of her now silent tail, and his light chewing sounds seemed almost harmonic as he silently allowed her to feel his presence.

Cassie's ears, pressed back moments ago, pricked forward onto the stallions rhythmic way of being. She was still afraid; every horrible potability still ran like deer through her mind. But she was calm in her troubles.

She was calm in the presence of a stallion.

Slowly her tail began to flick once more, and her statue like stance loosened over the next few minuets.

[Toaster]

The tension radiating off the mare was easy for him to feel, even with twenty feet put between him and her. It made him begin to wonder what had caused her to become so nervous all of a sudden. Had he come off intimidating, despite his effort not to? He was rather tall, which could be a bit scary to ones shorter. Or was it something else that was troubling the mare? He felt the need to ask, but resisted it while deciding that would be to nosey. Later - if she didn’t scamper away that is - he could ask her what it was. Curiosity would always eventually get the better of him.

For several minutes, all he did was take a few bites of the grasses and slowly chewed with no effort to speak as of yet. Gradually, it seemed that the mare’s tense body relaxed enough so that he was sure she wouldn’t attack out of fear or run off and leave him alone again. Alone was something he didn’t want to go back to. Though he already knew that maybe this mare wasn’t going to be the easiest to get to know. But that was okay with Ludus, for he was quite up to the challenge of befriending her for the sake of having some nice company. She didn’t have to talk a lot to him, as long as she was there with him. And for all he knew, she’d much better company than the last few mares that had eventually ditched him, claiming he was clingy and possessive. Maybe it was a little true, but Ludus liked to think they had been overdramatic.

He lifted his head from the blades of green, long forelock sweeping over his left eye. He could see her easy enough, though. Her body language suggested she wasn’t feeling as flighty as before. Taking this as a good sign, the stallion took a couple of steps towards her before halting again. He nickered at her once again, though this time louder and being his way of asking if he could come closer. One couldn’t be to careful.

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: meh i don like this post. orz
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

As she found herself leaning away from her hindquarters, leaning towards sticking around the seemingly gentle brute, Cassie took a few deep breaths. In and out, in and out, in and out. She could feel her heart beating closer and closer to a normal at rest state, and her tail and neck began to relax along with it.

Then he picked up his hooves, inching slowly closer.

He still stayed at a respectable distance from her, but nonetheless she could feel the feeling inch back into her mind as well. His voice sounded louder this time, hitting her overactive ears dead on. He didn't seem to say anything in particular; he only, as far as she could tell, was calmly greeting her. Air began to fill her newly tensed lungs as he stopped again, closer this time, but still she couldn't seem to send out a call back.

They watched each other.

Her eyes had been locked onto him the entire time he had made himself noticeable, and he in return had respectfully glanced at her as well. "Your," Cassie was shocked to hear her soft voice escaping her mouth. Her words broke of and she spooked slightly at the thought of her boldness. Everything in her was split into two; one half saying, talk to him, the other screaming, no no no! Quietly she pondered each thought; then her tail began to flick, and her muscles began to relax once more. "Your name?" she dipped her head as she finished her partial sentence. What the hell am I supposed to say?

ooc: I love him!!

[Toaster]

She didn’t appear to want him closer. Realizing this, Ludus’ ears dropped back a little in disappointment. But, he wasn’t about to give up. He never gave up easily when it came to befriending lone mares. He felt that they needed the company just as much as he did. Well, he hoped they needed the company. This particular one would be very difficult, he was realizing more and more, but he’d try his best. There was a certain pain in her eyes that made him feel almost sorry for her. He wanted to help and wanted to know the reasons for it.

"Your name?"

After seemingly a little bit of struggling to find her voice, the mare finally spoke to him. His ears shot back forward, his features lighting up a bit at the mere fact she was talking to him. Progress! “Ludus” he stated simply, tone kind and slightly amused. “What is yours, if I may have the honor of knowing?” One more, small step forward before he lowered his head to take a casual bite of some grass before lifting it back up to look at her, swallowing his food and flicking his tail. Ludus was determined to get closer to her, though knew not to rush it. It could take minutes or months. Part of him figured maybe finding a more sociable mare would be easier, but there was something about this one that tugged at his heart strings. And he couldn’t help but wonder what a beautiful mare like her was doing all alone.

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: fail post is short -.- but it's past 5am and i'm tiiired.
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

With the utmost curiosity, Ludus, the large stallion before her answered and asked. He was sweet sounding, although his voice was deep, and he made her feel even less threatened with each word that escaped him. She watched as he had no trouble bowing his head for a lazy nibble of grass, before returning his gaze to her.

"I'm," she stayed put where she was, only lowering her head by a few degree's while she spoke. "I'm Cassiopeia." Although her sentence was still slightly broken the words came out more freely, and in her correct tone. Silently she lowered her head to the grass, inhaling the earthy scent of late fall but not taking any in her mouth. She kept herself low, even though he was already much taller then her, and she waited. She had nothing to say to this stranger yet; Cassie had nothing to say to anyone in the world besides her sister and dame.

A deep exhale, nearly in the form of a sigh, was released as she raised her head slightly, coming back up to look in to the dark bays eyes. She didn't speak verbally but she knew what her eyes were saying. Save me, save me and take me away. She wasn't one of those desperate damsels in distress, but she wasn't built to live alone either. Ludus, save me.

[Toaster]

Finally, he had earned her name. Cassiopeia. The name sounded beautiful and exotic to the stallion, and he couldn’t help but feel more intrigued than ever. But what was wrong with her? Why had she been so nervous of his presence? And why was she acting the way she was?

“What is a mare like you doing all alone? Surely you must have a herd, or friends…” he paused as she gave him a look that surprised him a little. It was a look that made her appear deeply saddened and almost scared to the male. Looking into those lovely, deep blue eyes of hers broke his heart and crushed his soul. His ears flicked back for a moment as he hopelessly wondered what had caused all of those helpless feelings the mare seemed to be experiencing. With her head hanging low and eyes gazing at him, Ludus felt strongly that he needed to help her more than ever. It almost felt as if she were asking him to. How could he ignore such a thing?

“…Someone?" he finally finished the sentence he’d started a few seconds earlier, though his voice had gotten much quieter. He just couldn’t take it any longer. The stallion decided to move closer again. His pace was slow, and he lowered his head a little as his ears pricked forward again. He was mostly silent in his approach, with the only sounds coming from the soft thuds of his hooves hitting the grassy ground below. And then it stopped. He’d finally achieved enough proximity where he could reach out and gently nuzzle her cheek. The touch only lasted a moment, and he hoped that the mare wouldn’t lose her nerve and bolt.

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: --
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

Who was she kidding? She couldn't live alone, couldn't be alone for more then a few days without collapsing from shear stress. It was going on nearly 4 days since she'd left her sister; her muscles felt as though they could loosen at any moment, causing her to fall over into the grass, paralyzed. Cassie had to make a decision, she had to decide right now.

Be afraid, or allow this caring beast to care for her.

Quietly he approached her, inching closer and closer as she helplessly stood still. Maybe she was turning into a damsel. Maybe she was a helpless female. Cassie couldn't help but think back to the painted stallion that she had stood up to months before. She wouldn't be a weak female, she was to make sure of that. But would it really hurt that much to let this dark bay, this Ludus, into her life? Would it?

The warmth of a breath touched her cheek before she felt the velvet of his lips. Centered in the circle of her face she felt his power, his passion, and she stood still. I think I'm lost. She hoped he knew she didn't mean directions. This moment was much more then just about directions. He could very well be the deciding factor wither she survived this winter. I think I'm lost.

[Toaster]

The mare didn’t run. She didn’t pull away and she didn’t snap at him or demand he leave her. It was another forward step for the stallion. He was making quick progress with her, it seemed. Though he felt like he was tiptoeing on thin ice. One wrong move and all the steps forward he’d made would come shattering down around him. It was slightly worrying to the brute, yet he didn’t give up. Her ice appeared to already have been shattered, and he was bent on picking up the pieces, no matter how difficult it was.

"I think I'm lost"

He peered at her, curiosity swirling in his deep brown eyes. What did she mean by that? Ludus figured she wasn’t asking for directions. At least, not north, east, south or west kind of directions. Maybe directions for life? When he didn’t immediately answer what she had said, she repeated herself. It gave her words deeper meaning. His heart wrenched in his chest. “I can help you, if you’d just let me” he said just as a strong and chill ridden wind blew in towards them. He shivered a little, and shifted upon his hooves so he was standing shoulder to shoulder with Cassiopeia, his side brushing her own as he blocked the overwhelming breeze from getting to her smaller frame.

Looking at her, Ludus couldn’t help but speak what had been on his mind. “What has been troubling you, if I may ask?” he was all ears, his gaze intense and his focus completely on the mare. The breeze caused his mane to brush against the other’s neck, their proximity close. He needed to know what it was that was bothering her in order to aid her in any way.

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: --
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

As a late fall wind began to pick up across the clearing, Cassie watched Ludus move to shield her against it. He moved to protect her. Instincts and habit gnawed at the red duns skin and she struggled not to side step away from this kind gesture. She needed him, and yet she still was afraid to let him in. She was, in a way, still willing to sacrifice herself for what she was so trapped in.

Cassie thought of it as an old friend, her walls were security blankets lined in barbed wire. She suffocated happily inside herself, pushing each emotion and though deep within herself until she could hold no more. A light escape of air hit her stomach and she shivered fiercely against the sudden shock. Again her eyes clouded over in the fake happiness that plagued her life.

"I can help you, if you'd just let me."

If only.... Another overcast glance reached his focused gaze as she returned to her dungeon. The filly she once was, still is in a way, cried out within Cassie. The filly cried out for her mother. Cassie was holding her breath as she watched the child, herself, struggle against the strain of emotional pasts. A shuddered sound escaped Cassie's red lips as she boiled over in the cold. She had been through so much, little Cassie had been through so so much this week alone. Awoken by the sound she had made she allowed a new cloud to pass as she straightened herself out, beginning to breath shallowly again.

“What has been troubling you, if I may ask?”

His dark bay mane gentle brushed against her neck in the growing gusts of wind. He seemed so content standing there in the cold and listening for her voice. I am the one troubling me. She didn't expect him to understand now, but it felt wonderful to tell someone. It felt so good to allow her inner child a breath. Another shiver took over her petite body as she stood with the grass brushing against her legs. Do you know what it feels like to suffocate?

ooc: well then... that was surprisingly emotional to relive... xD unfortunately Cassie and I have a lot in common besides the twin and the studly man to rescue her.

[Toaster]

He was surprised by her words. She was, in a way, torturing herself the way she made it sound. And he wondered why and how she was doing it. Was she just naturally scared of the world? The world could be a terrifying place, he knew. He himself had had his good amount of tragedies in his past, though he never liked to think about them that much. Somehow, though, they came to him ever day. With everyone that left him, bad memories abound. They swarmed his mind relentlessly, but he fought them. And he realized this mare, no matter how different her troubles probably were from him, needed to fight them as well. Such emotions swept up all of the time weren’t healthy. He knew they’d consume her until she just gave up. He wouldn’t stand by and let that happen.

For the longest moment, he was silent, ears flicking back yet his head held high for he needed to be strong for her. “I do, actually” he said, his voice soft and gentle. He felt as if he needed to lighten the mood here, though. “When I was a foal, I fell in a puddle. I was such a clumsy thing back then. Water got in my nose and mouth. It was hard to breath for a few seconds” he said with a chuckle. True story, but he knew what she meant. He’d gone through suffering before. He just hoped that his attempt at brightening the mood with a silly story from his younger days wouldn’t be taken the wrong way. She could either think he wasn’t taking the situation seriously, or she’d laugh along with it. He hoped it was the latter, for he had no intention of making it all worse.

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: --
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

A light smile crossed Cassie's eyes and a light laugh came through her. She was slightly surprised when she heard herself laughing but she allowed it for a sort while before she quieted again. She could vividly she this dark stallion as a gangly colt flopping around in a puddle. Cassie's mind was different then most, it was like an open canvas constantly being painted on. Just as vividly as she saw herself young she saw Ludus near a mare, a mother figure, though she'd never really seen him in his youth.

His trick had worked, and, although buried in her thoughts, a smile still clung to the red duns eyes. A light breath out began to slow her breathing, deepening it into a deeply relaxed state. She felt so oddly comfortable here in the meadow. She felt safe next to Ludus, and his lighthearted kindness kept her soul safe as well. As she inhaled her head rested lightly on his shoulder taking in his scent discreetly.

The suffocation was gone for now. The suffering gone. By habit or necessity Cassie added “for now” to most sentences but this was different. Are you magic? the child within her desperately wanted to know. Are you alone as well? she mused instead, both answering his earlier question and asking her own. In some instances she desperately hoped he was, although the thought of this kind stallion being lonely darkened her mood momentarily.

[Toaster]

He saw that smile of hers, and heard that laugh. It was such a sweet, joyous sound that caressed his ears. The stallion couldn’t help but smile back at her, proud and glad that he’d successfully lightened the mood, and that she’d taken his words the right way. It was obvious she was not completely hopeless and drowned in her sorrows, which he was happy about. He was happy to brighten her spirits. The more he thought about it, the more he realized she was probably the quietest, sweetest mare he’d ever come across. Ludus had had many females in his life, though none had been permanent. He’d wanted them to be with him forever, but it wasn’t long before they realized he never let them out of his sights. While that might have been ok to some mares, the ones he’d managed to pick up had been much more independent than he’d anticipated. They eventually ended up feeling he was to possessive. This mare, though, he hoped was as different as she seemed.

As she lightly rested her head upon his muscled shoulder, his skin tingled at her touch. It was a move he had not expected her to make, but he liked it nevertheless. But then she asked him a question that made him feel horrible. Yes, indeed he was alone. He hated the feeling. Ever since he was young, the stallion had had separation issues. His dam, whom had once loved and cherished him, had left him much to soon for his liking. Yes, he’d been able to take care of himself by that time, but it didn’t make the feeling any less painful. It was for that reason he hated being left. He hated being completely alone. “Well… I was alone” his voice was quiet, but loud enough for her to hear “But now I’m not. You’re here”

TAG: Cassiopeia/Nala
WORD COUNT: idk : P
NOTES: --
MUSE: eh
VOICE: chris hemsworth as thor

[nala]

Cassiopeia.

He sounded so sad suddenly, and Cassie's heart sank at the thought that she had made him that way. Don't be sad, please don't be sad. She pleaded silently to her rescuer. If she ruined him she would certainly be alone. A thought, although manipulative poked at her mind. Would he protect her, as a sort of deal? Everything had to be carefully calculated for Cassie, nothing could be left to chance, for fate was never in the young mare's favor.

She didn't understand what this young male was doing. Why he was blocking the wind for her, or why he was trying desperately to make her laugh. She was too naive to understand that this stallion's intentions were for her best interest without an imposed deal. A light breath fell off of her lips as she lifted her head away from him, contemplating what made perfect sense to only her. Will you stay with me? She was thinking aloud, slowly offering her plan to Ludus. For at least the winter. I don't think I'll survive alone without Cleo. Clumsily she let information slip. And in the Spring, I must go back to her and fix her mistake. By now Cassie was too comfortable not to share, she didn't realize that this stallion may stick around, that he may genuinely care about her troubles. Just for the winter.